Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
