Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
