Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
