Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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