So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
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we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
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I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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