fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
