I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
