I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
this just has baby written all over it
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
