your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
