seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
