No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
