he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Come share oat with me in your robe
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
