he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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