Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
