3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
