And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
