He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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