you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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