areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
