So drunk its hurt
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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