Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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