Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
