Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
