this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Duck Duck Cougar?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you traded sex for a burrito?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
