i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize