If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
