We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Randomize
