U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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