I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Drake has all the answers
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
