careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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