thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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