What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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