I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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