I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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