i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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