You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
