See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He felt like a one man threesome
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
