remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize