Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
