hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
