This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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