ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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