I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
