He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize