I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
