I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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