Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
