I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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