This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
