Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize