I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize