I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
