k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
