i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
