I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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