Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
