Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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