I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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