things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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