I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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