I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
