i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
All I want is dick and wine.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
