oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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