He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
