How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize